I was hoping for your input on something that has plagued me all my life. I have never had to face them on a near daily basis.
Dear Wendy is a relationship advice blog. You can read about me hereperuse the archives here and read popular posts here.
You can also follow along on Facebook and Instagram. I grew up pretty poor. We always had a roof over our heads when I was a baby, but it was section 8 housing, and my clothes were donations, hand-me-downs, and goodwill finds.
My biological father was not in the picture.
When I was five, my mother met the man I now consider my father. When I was twelve, he got a promotion and a raise — and my mom got pregnant, had my little brother and stopped working. They saved up and, when I was fourteen, they bought a house in the suburbs. I got a second brother and a dog — pretty much the American dream.
It came to a head in my head a couple of weeks ago when we were having dinner over at their place and they mentioned they were going to start my older younger brother in private art lessons.
I would have done grievous bodily harm to get private art lessons at twelve. We would have if we could have. But it started me thinking. My parents did not pay for my college, or even help me take out student loans. When we bought our house they did not give us any kind of gift, let alone offer any kind of financial help.
When my dad got his fat holiday bonus from work this year thirty thousand dollars!
They know my husband is self-employed and that things get really tight in the winter when work slows down, and that I work an entry-level job. They may say no, but at least you will have been assertive about it. OK, so what happens if you do ask for say, a loan or a gift amount to help you out, and they turn you down?
I would strongly, strongly advise you to let it go. Sure, it would be lovely of them to help out if they can, but they are under no obligation to do so and expecting them to will only drive a wedge between you. Please try not to think of this as your parents loving your brothers more than you.
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